Personal wedding vows are one of the quietest moments of a wedding, and one of the most powerful. Just the two of you, a few sentences, and a room holding its breath. That's exactly why they're so hard to write: every word feels too small. This guide gives you a simple five-part structure, plenty of examples of big and small promises, and practical tips so you can say them without your voice running away from you.
The examples are about Maya and Chris, a made-up couple.
What goes into wedding vows
Good wedding vows are short, personal and spoken directly to the person you're marrying. They say who your partner is to you, recall a moment only the two of you share, and make promises you can actually keep. Big words like love and faithfulness have their place, but it's the small, specific promises that make the vows yours.
Where personal vows fit
Rules differ by country and by type of ceremony. At a civil ceremony, you'll usually say the legally required words, and many registrars and officiants are happy for you to add your own, if you check in advance. In England and Wales, civil ceremonies can't include religious wording. At a religious ceremony, ask your minister, priest or rabbi where personal words can go. Celebrant-led ceremonies usually give you the most freedom. And some couples say their vows privately, during a first look or a quiet moment before the ceremony.
How long wedding vows should be
One to two minutes each is ideal. Vows are spoken more slowly than a speech, with more pauses, so that's roughly 120 to 250 words. If you're both writing your own, agree on a similar length. For more on why shorter often lands harder, see how long a speech should be.
A five-part structure
- Opening: your partner's name and a first line that leads straight to them, or to the two of you.
- Who they are to you: what moves you about them, or what you are together.
- A memory: a moment only you two know. One to three sentences.
- Your promises: two to five, mixing big and small.
- Closing: one last line, perhaps an echo of your opening, or a simple "I do".
Opening lines
Chris, the first thing you ever said to me was "I think you're in my seat." You were right. I've been in your seat ever since.
Maya, seven years ago you asked if the seat next to me was free. Today I'm finally giving you the right answer.
Examples of promises
These are ideas, not templates. Your vows will be strongest when you swap in a detail from your own life.
Everyday promises
- I promise to make your tea exactly how you like it, and to stop pretending I don't know how that is.
- I promise to warm my cold feet somewhere other than your legs. Mostly.
- I promise to listen, even the third time you tell me about your fantasy football team.
- I promise to keep our Saturday morning walk, rain or shine, even when the rain wins the argument.
Promises for the hard days
- I promise to stand beside you when it's easy and when it's hard.
- I promise to tell you what I think, even when it's uncomfortable, and to listen before I answer.
- I promise to remind you who you are on the days you forget.
- I promise we won't take an argument to bed, and if we do, that I'll reach for your hand first in the morning.
Promises with a smile
- I promise to let you choose the film at least once a month, and to stay awake for most of it.
- I promise never again to finish a series we're watching together without you.
- I promise to keep laughing at your puns, especially the ones I only get the next day.
A complete example
Here's what a set of vows lasting just over a minute might sound like:
Maya,
on our first date, you explained to me, very seriously, why pineapple belongs on pizza. I wasn't convinced, but I stayed. Since then you've convinced me of a lot of things, and the most important ones without saying a word.
You're the person I don't have to be better than I am with, and that's exactly why I want to be.
I promise to listen before I answer. I promise you the window seat on every train and a quiet evening whenever you need one. I promise to stay by your side on the easy days and the hard ones.
And I promise to keep arguing with you about pizza. For the rest of our lives.
I do.
If you're both writing vows
- Agree on length and tone, for example two minutes at most, warm with a smile.
- Keep the words a surprise if you like, but give copies to your officiant so they know what's coming.
- Decide who goes first.
- Write separately. Your vows should sound like two people, not like one shared text.
Common mistakes
- Clichés with no detail behind them: "You complete me" says less than one small detail from your life together.
- Going too long: after three minutes, even beautiful vows start to feel like a speech.
- In-jokes nobody else gets: one line of context lets everyone in.
- Exes and embarrassing stories: they have no place in your vows.
- Promises nobody can keep: "I'll never let you down" sounds lovely and isn't true. Honest promises move people more.
Tips for the moment itself
- Write your vows on a card, not your phone. A nice card can become a keepsake.
- Give a copy to your officiant. If you lose your place, they can help you find it.
- Look up now and then. You're speaking to one person, not to the room.
- Pause, especially before your last line.
- If your voice breaks, take a breath and carry on. That isn't a mistake. That's the moment.
For more help with nerves, read staying calm before a speech.
Wedding vows checklist
- You've agreed on length, tone and order.
- Your vows run no more than two minutes, timed out loud.
- They include at least one memory only the two of you share.
- They mix big and small promises you can keep.
- Your last line is settled.
- Your officiant has a copy.
Write your vows with Moverba
With Moverba, you answer an interview written for vows: where you're saying them, whether you're both writing your own, the small things that make up your everyday life together, what you want to promise, the line you want to end on and whether you'd like words for the ring exchange. For short vows, the Basic plan is enough. Start on the wedding vows page. If one of you is also giving a speech at the reception, see the bride speech and groom speech pages, and if you're marrying in two languages, read our guide to the bilingual wedding speech.
Last updated: 26 September 2026